Wednesday, May 4, 2016

A Letter To My Friend

Dear Sister,

We all get to a point in our lives where we don't know which way to go. We get into the habit of trying to fix everything in our lives that is broken, only to end up even more broken. We try to make sense of everything that has gone wrong. We try to make ourselves believe that we are still good enough while feeling worthless and used. We don't allow ourselves the opportunity to heal or move forward. We can't see anything past what is clouding our vision. I understand.

You just honestly have to let go. I kept repeating to myself, "you don't care." Not to trick myself into believing that I didn't care about anything but to condition myself into the understanding that I can't control so many things. It's like you are on a roller coaster right? You know what to expect, ups and downs. But you still get on willing to EXPERIENCE the ride. Same with life. We know what to expect. And we've been on the ride long enough to anticipate both joy and pain. Though they may feel different in magnitude they are essentially the same. So, at some point you have to learn to let fear subside and enjoy the ride. Not worry about what the next high or low will bring you. Having the faith that wherever God guides you he will lead that path as well. 

You have to know the wrong people and right people though. There's no way around that and that's how you build character. In the end you never lost. We have to get into the habit of realizing that in life you either win or learn. Either way you gain something. I know how it is to let that part of you be vulnerable only to be let down, I have felt like I had been shattered. But I had to realize if I stayed sad, if I dwelled on what went wrong, if I kept telling myself how good of a person I was. If that's all I did, then I would never be happy or have joy. Everyday we choose how we feel. The hardest lesson I learned is that I am responsible for how I feel. No one can control that but me and if I would have allowed myself to stay down, I'd still be there. You choose your emotions like you choose your outfits. Feel what you feel but please do not stay here. YOUR LIFE IS NOT OVER! 

Meditation is an awesome help! Choose some affirmations to learn as well as bible verses. Say them until you become them. One of my favorite quotes is "I think therefore I am". It's so true, you can't say that you want to be something if you don't already see yourself as what you are expecting. And the ultimate thing is to learn to see yourself as God sees you. That will change your life. 


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