Thursday, January 21, 2016

Ride.. Or, Die.

"If you don't want to get old, then guess what you must do? Die young."
- Shirley Bonner

When I was a teenager I went through this phase of being in denial about a lot of things. I'd go to older people for guidance and they'd tell me, "Keep living." I never understood what they meant and I even thought that they were being insensitive toward my issues. But they weren't at all. They were only preparing me for what I would begin to experience once I crossed the threshold into adulthood.

I had no idea that it would be so difficult to transition from a child into an adult. Like, I thought I was being punk'd and I wanted Ashton to pop out with the cameras and tell me it was all a joke. But it wasn't. It was real life and I had to learn how to cope. I had to learn how to be responsible for myself. And, I did.

I got into this arrogant state of mind. You know the, "I got me!", state of mind. Well, that wasn't one of my brightest ideas and it almost destroyed me. I began to eliminate God from my life and pursue my own way of doing things. Again, not one of my brightest ideas. I was "doing me" and I stopped trusting and depending on God. And he allowed me to go my own way.

Needless to say, every plan that I made fell through. You know that five year plan that most young adults make, that didn't work out. When God is not in the midst of your little plans they will not prosper. The bible clearly tells us in Proverbs to commit to the Lord whatever we do! I did not do this and I quickly learned what the word means when it says many are the plans in a man's heart but the plans of the Lord are those which will prevail!

God allowed me to continuously disappoint myself!! And he let me suffer until I had all I could take and I surrendered my will to his. Today, I talk to God about everything I consider doing. If he says no, I do not act on it. 

So how does this tie into the topic you may ask? Well, one day I called my grandmother in tears because life was just too much for me to bear. I asked her "how could they", "why would God", "how could God", and "how I am I going to make it". She simply told me to get used to it. I pouted about how I hated that I grew up so fast and how I wanted to be young forever and not experience adulthood. She told me, ""If you don't want to get old, then guess what you must do? Die young." I literally bawled, like cried my eyes out. I could not believe that she said that to me and, how could she?! But she was right. Life is not going to get any easier but I must learn to cope and take control over my own life.

I had to make a decision. Was I going to endure the ride of life or just exist until I died? I chose to live. I chose to take control of my life. By choosing to ride this thing out I unlocked my breakthrough. So, will you ride or die? It is not enough to just exist. Be wise with your decision.

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