Sunday, March 29, 2015

Palm Sunday

Hello all, as you all know today is Palm Sunday. We are entering the Passover and I am excited for Resurrection Sunday!! I recently watched "The Passion of the Christ" and a few things dawned on me. First off, I was immediately convicted for everything that I have ever done wrong. I felt ashamed, like I never have before. Second, I realized that my life was truly bought with a price. It was incredible to me to finally realize that someone with no fault, whom I have never met, felt I was to die for!! 

As a girl I grew up without my father and I had many abandonment issues that followed me into adulthood. I felt insecure, unloved, and unwanted; these things led me to have resentment towards men. I was the girl who didn't need anyone.. because no one ever cared anyway. Right? See, because things were not ideal for me I felt like they were wrong. I didn't know the love of any immediate biological male figure. And that made me angry. Angry with God, my mother, my father, my family, and myself! But all of these things were CHOICES.

In watching that movie I realized that everything that I had ALLOWED MYSELF TO BELIEVE, were nothing but lies from the enemy. I'm very personal, so every plot the enemy had to kill my self worth and my joy; he made them personal. I knew who God was, I knew that Jesus died for my sins on the cross at a place called calvary, I knew that I could do better.. but everyday for about five years I made a conscious decision to stay in my mess!! I made a decision to lie there and feel sorry for myself. I would pray and ask for the deliverance but then I'd claim sadness and sorrow.
Whether we believe it or not, we have control over a portion of our lives. We choose daily how we act and react.

I said all of this to say, seeing Jesus brutally beaten brought about a change of heart in me. It reminded me that I am loved, in fact the greatest man who ever walked this earth thought I was to die for!! No matter what I lack or how imperfect I may be, he loves me. And he knows what's best for me. We were not created to live miserable. We live miserable because we want to. Deliverance is a team effort between you and God. He gives you the freedom but you have to do your part as well. You have to be willing to get up and move away from your mess!! Whatever your mess may be, move! God wants what's best for you John 3:16 told us that!! Could you imagine giving up your only child for an ungrateful people? Who persecute him even after he sacrificed himself? No?, I thought so. That shows that God's love is great towards us, do not let that be in vain.

I can never repay him for his sacrifice but I can strive to live the best life possible for him!! Living a life poured out and telling of his grace and mercy, his works. Obedience.

"It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes."- Psalm 119:71

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